African Closetness

Coming out to yourself

There are many reasons for this, but a common factor may be family or society has taught you that being gay is wrong or dirty and so you may hide and deny your feelings...more

Out of the Closet

22 July 2007- Speaking about coming out of the closet, this is not an easy stage for an African gay man to come out. It’s a stage when you have to choose either to be outcast by your family, the community and the society, or be able to pretend all your life so as to keep your family close by...more

The comfortable misery of being in the closet

Interview by Ndanji

I’m 37 years old and I have been married for 9 years, I have 3 children, all girls. Its really difficult to pretend not to be what you are. I realised been gay since the age of 16, but at that point I was pressured to marry and make a home of my own.

To be honest I don’t come out of the closet for the reason being that I’m married and have a family to look after, my wife is pretty very supportive and I cant help it but to just close my eyes when I make love to her or it has to be in the dark.

I feel remaining in the closet is the best way to live as at now, but I never stop thinking about becoming in contact with another male, perhaps that’s the dream I will have to keep for the rest of my life, I know there are a lot of married men out here that are facing the same situation as me but its just so hard to come out and live another life that’s not acceptable especially out here in Africa.

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