Coming out to yourself

02 July 2007- Many gay men say that the first stage in their coming out was coming out to themselves. This stage involves accepting yourself and feeling good about who you are and the fact that you are gay. For some guys this is not an issue and they come to terms with their sexuality from an early age. For others accepting themselves as being gay can be hard and can take years to come to terms with. There are many reasons for this, but a common factor may be family or society has taught you that being gay is wrong or dirty and so you may hide and deny your feelings. Many gay men spend time wishing that their feelings are a phase they are going through and that will pass in time.

Accepting and learning to like yourself can be challenging but, according to gay men, this is a crucial first step. Not liking the fact that you are gay is a kind of self-directed homophobia and so is never going to help you to feel happy about yourself. There are many lgbt organisations and on-line groups that you can contact for support who will help you to understand your sexuality and develop a positive attitude to who you are. Being gay is only a part of you- it is not the whole story. It will help to remember that you have a unique personality and personal qualities that have nothing to do with your sexuality.

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