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How HIV drugs left me almost
dead
13 Mar 2006- I’m 34 years old and was diagnosed of HIV in 2001, I
must say that it’s not been easy for me having to cop with being HIV and
being on treatment that’s actually made me even worse than I ever felt
before starting my treatment. I know a lot of African gay men living
with the virus in some African countries would very much want to be on
treatment, but how much would it cost their lives at the same time
having to spend much more on the expensive HIV drugs?
I always head that the medication had different side effects in HIV
patients that’s why I could not get to start my medication as soon as I
got diagnosed. Politically I have also head that some doctors tend to
prescribe the treatment or the drugs hence a good profit for the
manufactures of the anti- retrovirus. I’m not sure about all this but it
has raised concern with part of my research.
I then started my medication in 2003 all because I had to be comfortable
with what I was going to decide and at the same time being aware of the
side effects that’s I would be experiencing. After having had check ups
and told that I needed to start treatment, I was ready but I did not
have anyone advice me about my medication except being told what times
to take the medication by my doctor. Please don’t get me wrongly about
this, I know there are millions of people on these HIV drugs but we all
have different side effects.
My medication has turned out to be worse that I thought, I was told that
side effects might take 6 to 12 months then I would be used to the
medication and the side effects would slowly disappear. Now I have been
on medication since 2003 and I have got worse. The side effects I have
are really bad that I have had to limit myself in so many things like,
activeness in the bedroom department, always tired, heavy night sweats,
severe stomach pains most of the times and fallen into depression and a
number of times I try to take my own life.
I have always talked about this with my doctor and at one point they
suggested that I should change medication but this time they had to tell
me the side effects that I would have at the same time they also
prescribed me anti sickness tablets which left me no choice but to stop
all my medication. Now I have even come to discover that there are a lot
of African gay men living with the virus and I’m sure there must be a
lot that are having the same problems as me.
It has become a habit now that I have to forget to take my medication
because usually when I forget I feel much better, when I explained at
my hospital the doctor said it was dangerous to that, but on my side it
has helped me to an extent of feeling lot more better. Having told my
doctor about this and having been going for check ups every three months
which never really helped me, so I decided to stop my medication. I just
have to wait for that day when I will not feel pain anymore on this
earth.
I have regretted enough that I’m HIV and it’s damaged
much of my life, my career and my social life so I’m better off
medication, but my advice to those that are on treatment and are coping
with it please stick your medication. As for me my hospital it has not
helped me in any way to look into my problem during my treatment, I have
suffered so much during my treatment.
To some point I have told myself that maybe this medication or treatment
on me was some sort of test, I don’t know but that’s how my life went
down the drainage during my treatment. I never even managed to work
because I could not make it working for more than five hours without
feeling sick, I would sweat and my sweat smelt like I worked in a
medicine laboratory. I know of more friends that are HIV and are not on
medication but they are doing very well, having seen what I went through
they don’t even think they would want to be on medication, that’s the
life I have lived during my treatment and now you wonder why most people
want to take their own lives, its this kind of suffering.
Africanveil / Report by ndanji chola
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