Somizi Knew He Was Gay All Along 

01 Oct 2007-  South Africa- Somizi Mhlongo, one of the people outspoken about their homosexuality, says that he knew from a very young age that he was gay, but he suppressed these feelings for years.

The father of one said he believes he was born gay but only started knowing about it when he was 15. “I could not understand why I loved men. I loved the way they talked, walked and their shape. I think when I fell in love it all became so much more concrete for me.

“I was suddenly very certain of what I wanted and why I wanted it.” Mhlongo says for years he had relationships with women but that he was unhappy.

“I felt trapped inside of me. During those days homosexuality was taboo. I did not want my family to know because I did not want them to disown me.  “So when I was independent I decided to come out of the closet. To my surprise my mother was supportive.”

Why does he like men? Mhlongo says men are easy to deal with. “There is no nagging and men are financially and emotionally independent which makes things easy for both partners.

“There is not too much talking and each person foots their own bill. Nobody spends and expects you to pay. Unlike women, men do their own thing and there is less stress.” And sex?

Mhlongo says many people think that gay relationships are about sex but they are not. “Sex is sex whether you are doing it with a woman or a man. There is no difference. The only difference is the person you are doing it with. It is all about attraction.

“Some are attracted to both sexes. They are happily married with kids but they still sleep with men.” Mhlongo, who was dating an engaged bisexual soccer player, said many gay men prefer bisexuals. When he was interviewed, Mhlongo was not yet born again.

But he recently told Sowetan that he had now accepted Jesus Christ as his saviour but that he is still gay. He said he used to go to church but did not have a revelation of who God was. He said Pastor Kabelo Mabalane aka Bouga Luv led him to Christ.

“I looked at his lifestyle and I realised that if God could change him he could change me too.” Mhlongo says though he was no longer dating and sleeping with men he was still gay. “I believe that God created me this way, He loves me this way and I will die this way.

“All I want to do is to concentrate on my spirituality and on serving God. “I am not doing the boyfriend and sex thing anymore. I’m waiting for Mr Right to come along and marry me.”

Come OUT! It is the right thing to do
Zenoyise Madikwa

Is it worth hiding the fact that you’re gay? John Grootboom, a Johannesburg-based social worker, says it takes strength and a lot of courage for people to embrace their homosexuality.

Grootboom believes that “coming out of the closet” is a good and admirable thing because it is tantamount to self-acceptance for the homosexual.  “I’m a firm believer that coming out of the closet is the hardest thing someone can do.

“Self-acceptance is the first step to coming out. After you feel comfortable with your own sexuality it may become important to tell other people like your parents or best friends that you are gay.”

Grootboom adds that this decision is an individual process which only the person involved can decide and judge. “A person may decide to come out and admit to others when they feel they are emotionally ready and believe that it is a safe time.”

Grootboom believes that coming out does provide a person with a healthier self-esteem because it allows them to talk about their sexual orientation.

An important thing to understand though is that despite our wanting people to be open and accepting, there will always be those who don’t or won’t understand.

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