|
'God-friendly, not
gay-friendly!'
18 Jan 2006- Not many people know this, but it appears that the
Rev Ken, as Kenneth Meshoe, the leader of the African Christian
Democratic Party (or ACDC for short), is known, is named after Barbie's
sometime boyfriend Ken.
Now Ken, as most of you will know,
is a massive gay icon. He is, after all, the perfect gay man - plastic,
shiny, shaped like a pugnacious penis, and available for a small fee
over the counter.
That's Ken the doll I'm talking
about, not the Rev Ken. I have no idea what he charges. Some barstool
shrinks down at my local drinking hole are of the opinion that the
reason the Rev Ken dislikes gays (or loves gays, as he would put it), is
because of his namesake. Somebody, somewhere, has been making fun of
him, and he's striking back. Personally, I think that's a very unlikely
theory, but I'll share it with you anyway.
In a year when we're going to have
to tolerate Oscars being handed out to excruciating chick flicks, which
is what gay movies like Brokeback Mountain used to be called, the
ACDC has a great chance of doing slightly better in the municipal
elections. They're certain to capture that important voting segment of
film-loving homophobes. (A gay cowboy movie? Groan. I can't stand it.
Nice chaps, though.)
Which is why the Rev Ken's party
manifesto makes sense. "We will make Cape Town an efficiently run,
world-class, God-friendly city, instead of a poorly run, gay-friendly
city," spluttered Pauline Cupido, the ACDC's mayoral candidate, at the
launch of her election campaign.
Interestingly, Ms Cupido is named
after the Roman god of erotic love and loose sexual behaviour. No,
silly, not Pauline, god of love. Cupid, god of love. And I have to say,
Ms Cupido appears to be a couple of arrows short of a full quiver.
I hate to be the one to point this
out to her, but if there's one thing I know about Gods, it's that
they're damn poor tippers.
If you ever did get God to visit our
"God-friendly" city, which I doubt seeing as how he's probably got more
important things to do, such as damage control in the Middle East and
helping England win the World Cup, he's going to want everything for
free. No, Cape Town needs the Pink Pound, and the Pious Penny sure as
hell isn't going to be an adequate replacement.
|
