Being gay, Christian and African
source: bbc news
13 Mar 2006- A 32 year old Kenyan student, angered by a campaign
in Cameroon “outing” top personalities for their alleged homosexuality,
speaks to BBC about his struggle to accept his sexuality. When I was as
young as 10 or 11 years old I realised that I was drawn more to boys
rather than girls.
For a good chunk of my
post-adolescence years I put it at the back of my head - I switched off
that part of my life. I have really struggled to accept my sexuality
because I am Christian. A few people do now know that I am gay but I've
never come out openly. I told my mother two years ago and more recently
my brother and they've accepted it, which is a great relief as there is
a great fear when you come out to someone.
I'm hoping to tell the rest of my
family this year - Africa being Africa people expect you to be at a
certain point in your life when you're settled down and married.
Although there are laws against sodomy in Kenya, there is a secretive
gay scene in Nairobi - certain pubs and clubs. However, because my faith
is so pivotal to me, I've chosen to be single and to be celibate. I
can't say I've always been successful - I am a human being, not perfect.
For the last two years, I've been
studying in the UK and the church in the West is a lot more accepting
and has taught me to accept myself for who I am. It has been a sense of
liberation, not only with the church. The first time I went to a gay bar
in the UK I realised I could be who I wanted to be without any lies -
not having to pretend to pull some bird or something, I was just me.
Even so there is no denying that
there is a feeling of guilt, which comes from the fact that you almost
feel it's your fault, something that you did that made you gay. It has
been easier to come to terms with being gay in the UK because Nairobi is
a much smaller society and people talk - the stigma associated with
homosexuality does cut.
I really hate the way people run to
the Bible just to justify their biases and fears. If they knew more
about Christianity they would accept homosexuals or anyone else for who
they are. Personally, I wouldn't condone gay marriages because of my
beliefs, but I must confess there are times when I really would like to
be in a long-term relationship
As I prepare to go
home, I've decide I'd like to come out openly because I would like to
tell people that homosexuality is real.You don't have to embrace it, but
acknowledge the fact it's there and that they're Africans - all races,
all colours - who are gay. If I've learnt to accept myself for who I am,
other people will just have to learn to deal with their own struggles
and their own challenges.
The same goes for African leaders
that believe homosexuality is unAfrican. They are like ostriches
sticking their head down in the sand and oblivious to the world around
them.
After the outing campaign in
Cameroon, I thought there was no way I would see acceptance of
homosexuality in Africa in my lifetime. But I am hopeful: when you look
at how things have changed in Africa in the last 50 years, it will
happen - it'll just take a long time. Perhaps these laws banning
homosexuality are a government's form of accepting it, but accepting it
in the wrong way
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