Zambian lesbian speaks out

04 Mar 2006- Cindy aged 28 speaks out about her sexuality after being called a tomboy for years. Living in one of Zambia’s cities located in the heart of copper-belts in Ndola. Cindy talks about what she’s been through and how she’s trying by all means to leave the city because her community can not accept that sort of sickness.
I have always had friends mostly girls, which is usual for most girls and at the age of 18 I had to go through a major change that I thought it would be what I want to be. I cut off all my hair, changed my wardrobe, Became a girl in trousers and shirts, big buckled belts and from ladies shoes to men’s boots. I only wore shirts when I was at school.

At some point at school, my principal raised an issue regarding my shaved head. There were a lot of other girls looked at me for different reasons. I then realised that there were a lot of girls that were like me, but there were afraid to out and display their acts.
At the age of 24, I had met several girls that were lesbian some of them were shy to walk or be seen talking to me because word spread round that I was lesbian, looking at the city of Ndola it’s not as big as Lusaka, so if you told one pastor about your sexual orientation its like the whole city of Ndola.
I have been called names and at one point I was raped by five guys that took turns, people that knew me and just wanted me to feel how it’s like with a man, but that never put me off my feelings towards other girls. My family could not really support me, never really knew if I had one, my mother was a fulltime prostitute, she did not know who my father was, I was brought up by my grandfather, he’s the only family I had.

It was recent that I was called to an evening community meeting, where every one of us had to speak out how and we gained from the community. I must say they were not prepared to hear what I had to say, “We are here, I stand here to speak for myself and on behalf of other girls in this community that we are not cursed but it’s the love we have for each other, maybe I was not taught the right love which the community referred to as a woman can only love her husband, sorry I love women, I’m attracted to women and that can be referred to lesbianism, I’m lesbian” the spokes person had to stop me and asked me if I could only talk about my sexuality to the church elder.

From that time I have had threat within the community and I have since moved to Lusaka where I’m not very much free, easier to make friends who are like. I wish there more news and activities involving lesbian in some organisations that way there would be more us coming out to contribute or participate. I’m very please to discover that there is a website that’s dedicated to Zambian LGBT “Africanveil”.

I’m also please to be amongst the contributors of Africanveil, this will help in having to open the site to all Zambian lesbian that feel left out, I’m please to have had a chance to speak to ndanji regarding our contribution as women.

Report by Ndanji
 

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